RuPaul's Drag Race Season 5 Episode 6: Can I Get an Amen? Recap (Part One)

"AMEN!"

We open on the workroom after Lineysha's elimination, and her sweet message includes the new catchphrase for Puerto Rican queens in seasons to come: "Latino Shade!"

As she erases the mirror, Detox resolves to step her game up and never be in the bottom two again. Meanwhile, Jade and Ivy congratulate Jinkx on her Little Edie win, but before Jinkx has the chance to bask in her victory, we smash-cut to Miss Thang throwing a Tamar party.

(It's at this point, writing this recap, that I realize: for as much grief as the queens who didn't know Grey Gardens got on Facebook and Twitter last week (and boy howdy, did the internet let Coco and Roxxxy have it, to the point that Jinkx had to call off the dogs), it's borderline-irresponsible that I still don't have any idea what Tamar Braxton is like. So I watched this YouTube clip, and I gotta say: Roxxxy fucking nailed it last week. Tamar literally says shit like "That tasted like ass-crack dot com!" and "I am so over this, dot org." Tamar Braxton might not be my spirit animal, but she is the perfect spirit animal for Miss Thang. But I digress.)

Alaska sets down Chekhov's gun on the make-up counter, declaring, "Rolaskatox is firmly intact and ready for the kill!" Jinkx confessionalizes her frustration at not being considered a frontrunner by the other queens, and the editors mix in some over-dramatic music and snoring to really drive home the "Take this one seriously!" message. Roll credits! Prizes! Extra special guest judges!

My new goal: rocking glittery silver leggings in my mid-sixties. This photo is the living definition of "She's still got it!"

Good morning, werkroom! "Rolaskatox!" "Jinkx!" "Jade!" Now that we're past the Snatch Game, the girls feel the second act of their season heat up. Alyssa observes, "It's balls to the walls. Literally." Ooh, are we getting a reprise of that Season Three nude-in-a-corner black-and-white photoshoot mini-challenge?

Nope. We're getting something even better: Drag in the Dark! We watch the girls beat their faces through my new favorite Instagram filter, RuPerv.

Does this moment fulfill a contractual advertising agreement between World of Wonder and Andrew Christian?

I am in love with "Drag In the Dark." I wish we could've seen more than a few moments of its execution, and I hope it becomes an annual mini-challenge! Too soon, though, the challenge is complete. Jinkx throws in a Death Becomes Her reference, the editors know a moment of GIF-bait when they see it, and I'm happy to oblige both of them.

To my dilettante eyes, most of the girls look pretty okay! By far my favorite is Alaska's, who has missed her entire mouth by a couple inches. Hers was absolutely the perfect response to this challenge.

However, RuPaul declares Detox the winner, and announces that as her prize, Detox will assign groups for the main challenge: an inspirational supergroup anthem called "Can I Get an Amen?" Of course, Rolaskatox will work together, and Detox then assigns Jade, Jinkx, and Ivy to a team, leaving Coco and Alyssa as a duo.

Alyssa just laughs it off, but Coco wastes no time in calling Detox a "shady bitch" in front of Ru and everybody. (That challenge where Coco was captain, didn't she pick Alyssa first? And didn't their collaborative dance go really, really well? I think I remember the answer being yes. Anyway, have the commentary GIF and let's move on.)

Alyssa's in a great mood today, and she's making an honest effort to engage Coco and have fun with the challenge. I'd been hot-and-cold on Alyssa for most of the season, mostly because it took me a few episodes to realize that what I'd been misinterpreting as aggression and rudeness was really just her non-stop frankness and a slightly-broken social filter, but her intent is almost never malicious. I really respect the way she handled this challenge, and I'm definitely counting myself as a permanent Alyssa fan these days. I mean really: how can you not love this girl?

(Clock Coco's "Halleloo!" slap-bracelet, by the way.)

Meanwhile, it's Jade's poor luck that she's been paired with two of the best voices in the room. While Jinkx and Ivy harmonize with breezy perfection, Jade feels sidelined, and there's a not-entirely-sweet "Ma, we're trying to include our annoying little sister, but it's not working" vibe in this group. (nb: they're all basically the same age, actually.) Ru floats over and says, "It's like Wilson Phillips is back together!" 

I wanted to find a side-by-side where Jinkx, Ivy, and Jade looked like Wilson Phillips. I got distracted.

Jade tells Ru that she might "just freestyle it." Here's some wisdom that's held true for five seasons: you'll know you're barreling down the wrong track when Ru sweetly says "This is a competition, you know." (If you listen closely at this moment, you can hear somebody in the background of the werkroom go "Ooooh!" Singing practice, or an accurate peanut-gallery translation of RuPaul's read-disguised-as-advice? Anyway.) RuPaul leaves Jinkx with a "Don't bore Nina" before moving on.

Over in Camp Rolaskatox, Detox and Roxxxy are absolutely confident, and blithe to Alaska's mounting tension: she's realizing that half the queens remaining have won challenges, including the other two in her group, and she's not in that count. They sing for RuPaul, and Ru doesn't want to ruin the "We're going to sell this!" surprise, simply asking them to pull the F-bomb from their lyrics. 'Kay.

Ooh ooh ooh, guess who the guest judges are?!

The Pointer Sisters!

LaToya Jackson!

I'm excited too!

We move into recording, and Lucian Piane is back, cute as ever, though on-edge about how RuPaul's girls are going to abuse his work this year.

When I see him, all I hear is, "I do it so-- I do it so-- I do it-- I do it so much bette-- FUCKING SHIT."

Coco doesn't hate this challenge quite as much as she hated the T.T. and Tiny challenge, but it's a close second. On the other hand, Alyssa's singing is remarkably similar to Alaska's dancing: she makes up for her lack of skill with enthusiasm, and it's objectively flawed but totally working for me.

Jade is trying for sweet and soulful, but her soft voice is giving timid-Amy-Grant realness. Ivy and Jinkx nail it, naturally.

Roxxxy throws confessional shade at Jinkx, for which she's getting a pass from me because I'm pretty sure the internet has already put her through it for her comments on Jinkx, and anyway, this.

This year is going to bring the sweetest, most understanding reunion episode ever.

We take a cactus-cactuses-cacti moment to discuss the plural of "sequin." As a habitual abuser of the English language myself, I totes understand your Wrong English, Miss Thang.

I've now watched this episode three times, and every time they cut from Rolaskatox free-styling to this reaction shot, I burst into ugly, undigified laughter. These three are so. over. Rolaskatox.

Yes, Jinkx! That's the pissed-off-model-face you should serve Michelle and Santino on the runway!

Lucian chides Rolaskatox for their trainwreck keychange, and Alaska confessionalizes that Detox and Roxxxy aren't taking the challenge seriously. She resolves to be Beyonce, not Kelly Rowland.

Sometimes I feel like I neglect Detox and Roxxxy in these recaps, and I finally came around on liking Roxxxy literally earlier today, so have a pair of totally joyful GIFs to celebrate!

Back in the workroom, Detox and Coco have an exchange, and we learn some New For Season Five terms: while last season, "dusted" meant well-painted, apparently this season "dusty" is synonymous to "shady." The queens also argue about "eyeballs flying" like this is Fear Factor instead of RuPaul's Drag Race. Detox says, "She's been playing the victim the past couple of weeks, and I'm pretty much over it." Dear producers: do we have to broadcast an argument between the challenge and the runway every week? Because I'm pretty much over that.

We smash-cut to dawn rising on Los Angeles. Elimination day is here! Detox explains that she'll be featuring her whole body for today's runway challenge, Favorite Body Part. At the request of my dear friend Adrienne, here's a catalogue of Detox's work-list:

• Hips
• Ass
• Pecs
• Under eyes
• Brow
• Six-pack
• Cheeks
• Lips
• Chin
• Jawline
• Shoulders
• Biceps

Work she hasn't had done:

• Nose
• Knees
• Big toe

No knee, no blade! #noTnoShade

Sweet Jade tells us her coming-out story. This episode was the first one where I hadn't been spoiled on the elimination results, and my heart sank as she talked about parting ways with her family. Not to make a tender moment crass, but here's a tip, season six hopefuls: if a producer prompts you to tell your coming-out story, make sure you know your words, darlings.

 

Because this post involved so many graphics, I realized the page and its GIFs were inclined to break. I've split off Part Two, with the runway and Untucked, into a second post. Click here for Part Two!

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Haaaay! I love the new recap! And I just tweeted to you to enter the contest - that's such a cool idea!

I'm glad that Michelle is hip to cliques, but I wish she'd dial it back on Jinkx - she's really rough on her on the runway!

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