Augh! I was tip-to-toe LIVING for this episode. Holy schmoly. Eight RuPauls, GIFs for days, and a twist ending: this will be remembered as one of the best team challenge episodes RuPaul's Drag Race has ever seen.
We're back in the werkroom after Monica's elimination, and I still have pangs of sympathy for the queens over these long Elimination Day filmings. As the queens de-drag, Coco speaks wisely to her experience in the last challenge: she allowed herself to be distracted and self-defeating, and she resolves to keep that mistake from happening again.
"Coco, we're glad you stayed, but it's Pepto-Abysmal that Monica had to go home!" (Sorry, sorry, sorry.)
Meanwhile, Vivienne is cranky about Roxxxy "overshadowing" her, complaining, "I think that she's an attention whore." I'm not going to dogpile on her this recap, but y'know, Vivienne, I think Roxxxy is a drag queen on a reality television show, and I think you're a drag queen on a reality television show too, so even if your complaint is true, it's not really valid--grabbing and keeping attention is key to survival here.
Whatever. Vivienne goes to bed angry and we roll credits!
So much boogie-shaking, so much GIF bait! Some of the girls turn out their best dancing queens, while others, strategically steering clear of captaining a team, goof it out. Some, I'm not sure if they're intentionally throwing the challenge or are just deliciously awkward dancers, but I don't care either way. I'm in love with every moment of it.
RuPaul is the clear winner of the dance-off, he captains both teams. Coco and Jinkx are chosen as the winners. But while we're talking about RuPaul's dancing, and RuPaul's life story, please let me share with you this absolute gem from 1985: RuPaul, age 24 and sexy as fuck, gogo dancing to the Pointer Sisters' "Jump For My Love."
Yes, RuPaul has been that hot since before nine of this season's 14 queens were born. Okay, now that we're primed for all the youthful Ru we can handle, Coco and Jinkx pick their teams. Coco picks first, and she follows through on her earlier resolution to rise above her personal beef and play to win, picking Alyssa for her team.
(Yep, you knew that GIF was coming.)
Coco also picks up Detox, Honey, Roxxxy, and Vivienne. Meanwhile, Jinkx makes a smart first pick in Ivy: if you can't have the professional dancer, take the nimble stilt-walking queen. She then takes Lineysha, Alaska, and Jade, and they split off to begin work.
Jinkx's team reviews their script and roles, and Jinkx and Alaska share a joyous moment of impromtu crumping. I swear, this is the episode that keeps on giving.
Watch "Two White Twinks," coming to CBS this fall!
While searching for a side-by-side on Jinkx's eyebrows and hair-feathers, I discovered this treasure trove of vintage Ru photos that must be shared: RuPaul's old MySpace photo albums, featuring dozens of '80s and '90s snapshots, 'zine covers, flyers, and other miscellany. Anyway, here's your reference point:
Alaska takes the boon role of Ernestine, the only solo in the ballet and a great chance for redeeming bad dancing through comedy. Ivy is pleased as punch to play Lady Bunny, a wardrobing client of hers. With a cheerful smile and a shrug, Lineysha is playing some pretty black lady singer. As six-year-old RuPaul, poor Jade is relegated to another shapeless costume and afterthought role, and I'm jumping ahead by mentioning it now, but I don't blame her for feeling boogered by these team challenges.
That said, I love every pixel of this screenshot, and I'd take this set as my Top Five in a heartbeat.
Team Coco, meanwhile, has the second half of No RuPaulogies. Coco and Alyssa are playing Good Ru versus Bad Ru, and they're both resolved to be aboslutely professional about their collaboration. Detox will be Nineties RuPaul alongside Honey's Diana Ross, and Roxxxy and Vivienne are, once again, sharing a scene as Present-Day RuPaul and America's Next Drag Superstar. Vivienne accepts this assignment without complaint to the group, but gives an earful to the confessional about her irritation with her group of "loudmouths."
Fast forward to Travis Wall and Nick Lazzarini, of So You Think You Can Dance fame. (Fun fact: the last time SYTYCD went unmentioned on RuPaul's Drag Race was with Season 4's Kenya Michaels, who named herself for Mia Michaels, one of SYTYCD's favorite choreographers.) Jinkx trots out her split for the second time this episode, Ivy busts out a fouette turn, Jade gives a cutie-pie twinkle-toes demonstration, and Alaska does her best to not sprain an ankle or fall offstage.
Truthfully, in her position, I'd be making exactly the same face.
Back in the werkroom, Alyssa is in her element. She's assembled the mirrors into a dance studio, and assembled Coco's team into a crack intimidation squad. It's real fancy, girls.
Record-scratch: that's the end of this recap!
I got distracted last week, y'all. Firsties, I made a video. It was weird and alienating! Hooray!
I did get a few positive comments, and I made an infographic to identify the demographics that were actually amused by it.
One thing absolutely not intended by that video: meanness. There are people on the internet being nasty about how Alyssa looks out of drag, and ...ugh, I don't want to contribute to that, and I hope the Yip Yips video isn't perceived that way. There's a big difference between "She makes funny faces!" and "Her face is, uh, funny." Alyssa knows she makes hilarious faces, intentionally and unintentionally, and she embraces that about herself. I love it about her too. Whether she's wacky-mugging or not, though, she's gorgeous. The end. (Sidenote: I am absolutely in love with the @AlysEdwardsFACE Twitter account, which is also driven by fondness, not cruelty.)
Anyway. If you didn't like it: Can't. Be. Bothered. *thumbs up!*
The second distraction was my moonlighting as a video game nerd: I got sucked into an excellent game called Virtue's Last Reward. I've now 100%'d it, so that's off the table. Here, have a screenshot as a peace offering for whiffing this recap: this is one of the main characters.
Alice, that breastplate, that wig? I know you're supposed to be a government spy, but your line of work is clearly drag.
When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get 4 emails with the same comment. Is there any way you are able to get rid of me from that service? Thanks!
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